
This is very correct.
Actually I’m after an avoidance technique. I suffer from bouts of extreme anger as much as depression. When I get really angry I want to hurt someone. Like, seriously beat the living shit out of someone. But if I do, I’ll end up in serious trouble. So, I hurt the only person I can; myself. Whether it’s by starving myself, cutting, or drinking, and it’s never failed to make me feel better. I’m careful not to scar myself, or do any other kind of long-term damage (although I’ve come close with the drinking in the past).
I’ve tried all this ‘counting to ten’ bullcrap. And ‘imagining a happy place’. Doesn’t work.
The thing is, I know I shouldn’t be doing it. I know it’s stupid and immature. But when the anger really starts building I get physically sick - I threw up twice yesterday - and short of breath with a tight pain in my chest.
Time to get a therapist I guess.
My new boyfriend got us tickets to the Kapow! comicon in London this Saturday!
Considering going as Spiderman…
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don’t take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don’t know, but you know deserves it…
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I’d forgotten to make.
I found the number…
I’ve been so angry today.
I was promised a payrise at my job after I’d been with the company 6 months. Now I’ve been there ten months the bosses keep putting it off and I have nothing in writing. Other people have joined the company since me and had their training fast-tracked and had their payrises.
It might sound stupid, but but how much I get paid directly reflects my sense of self-worth. The fact that I’m the lowest paid person in my lab now (despite being older and more qualified than the majority of analysts) has made me feel that I am of less worth than everyone else.
Before anyone asks; I have not done anything wrong at work. I have worked my ass off, and been made to feel like I’m not good enough.
NOW I’m starting to think that if I’m not being paid as much as everyone else, then I don’t have to work as hard as anyone else. That’s fair, right? I know I’m being immature and I don’t give a shit. I’m just so pissed off.
fucking great
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uhm, at the risk of coming accross all trollish; if you get dizzy from standing up too suddenly it’s generally due to low blood pressure. Heart failure is more often associated with HIGH blood pressure.
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